Human for a year

I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with Human Made a few months ago. I wrote up a review for our company P2 but realized I haven’t said much over here. The following is a slightly edited version of that one year recap.

Last year, the Monday following Thanksgiving was my first official day as a Human. I think it’s poignant that my anniversary at Human Made falls in line with Thanksgiving (leaving the historical context of the slaughter of thousands of Native Americans aside for a moment) because I have much to be thankful for.

I have a tendency toward antiauthoritarianism. I stopped working traditional 9-5 jobs because I always ended up in these awkward situations where I (intentionally or unintentionally) challenged authority and ended up getting myself into trouble of one sort or another. It happened pretty consistently until ultimately I decided to start freelancing so my only boss was myself. I bring this up because since moving from freelance to agency work, I have gotten into similar situations (though not nearly as extreme) and it comes from having fairly strong opinions and wanting to voice them and then expecting that someone actually listen to and acknowledge those opinions. This was a fundamental difference in moving from a normal “backend developer” to “developer lead” at WebDevStudios — suddenly, when I became a lead, my opinions and thoughts felt like they mattered. People were listening when they weren’t before. And it made me more inclined to try to champion the ideas and opinions of the developers on my team(s) because I knew that I was often their only representative to make sure their ideas were heard.

Imagine how refreshing it feels, now, to be here at Human Made, where — as far as I can tell — we’re all extremely opinionated, we all demand that our ideas be acknowledged and, hey, they actually are!

More than the work, more than the dedication to open source, more than the people — though I love you all dearly — this is the thing I am most thankful for in my first year (of many!) as a Human. The acknowledgement that we are all valuable, that all of us have ideas that are valuable, and that we all deserve to be treated with compassion and understanding and empathy. I truly feel valued here and I am thankful every single day (and sometimes, still, a little amazed — am I dreaming?) to be lucky enough to be part of this truly inspirational and awe-inspiring team.

When I applied to Human Made more than a year ago, I really expected nothing to come of it. I had loads of imposter syndrome but I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t want. I was pretty clear on that, actually. I wanted to be treated with respect. I wanted transparency in the company and processes and I wanted the ability to speak up if I had ideas about the company — or what it was doing — without fear of retribution. I wanted the acknowledgement that I am not my work, I have other commitments — to my own open source contributions, to WordCamp and the local WordPress community, to my family, to my own health and sanity — and that those things  

Human Made was one of the few companies that actually ticked all those boxes. And I was a little shocked and disbelieving when Tom replied to me and that Joe gave me the time of day and somewhere in that process I was given a trial project and that everyone on that project was so amazing and warm and that, despite feeling like I contributed basically nothing to the project because it was such early days, I still hear, a year later, that some of my code is still there and valued by the team.

Back when I was freelancing — which was before Automattic really exploded, when they were still <100 people — I would longingly gaze at their Work With Us page. I would read stories about what the work environment is like, drool over the benefits, talk to Automatticians and generally try to suck up as much information as possible about Automattic. I said, that right there is my dream job. And that was what I aspired toward. I applied numerous times for various positions, went through a couple interview processes, even did a trial project once, but nothing really fit. Eventually, frustrated, I put it on the back burner for a future attempt “when I’m ready”, still ultimately thinking that Automattic was my dream job and that I would apply again, if they’d still have me.

 I no longer think that Automattic is my dream job. Or even remotely close, if I’m honest. My dream job is working for Human Made. And I am thankful to all of you for welcoming me, for valuing me (and each other), and for making this team truly the best to work with and the only gig I ever want to have.

I got an incredible amount of positive feedback for this post, including the following which makes me feel like I’ve found the right place:

You represent Human Made so much for me that I couldn’t imagine HM without you!

Since I wrote this, I met about half the company again at WCUS in Nashville where we hung out, visited a record pressing factory together and had our first US-based end-of-year meal. Every day I feel lucky to be a part of this incredible group of individuals.