server intestinal implosion

so the server is having issues. i’m getting a lot of slow loading pages and error 500s on the wordpress sites i’m running.  when i contacted 1and1 to report the issue, i got this fantabulous response:

me:

> Hi–
>
> I have multiple sites running on my shared hosting
> package, and I noticed today that all of
> them, especially the ones using php/mysql scripts
> like WordPress, are having issues.  I’m
> consistently getting Error 500, webpage not found,
> or graphics not loading completely on
>
arcanepalette.com
jazzsequence.com
alhlegal.com
oldtownguesthouse.com
gavin.jazzsequence.com
kids.jazzsequence.com
>
> I’ve had the Error 500 come up before but have
> been able to correct it by modifying the php.ini
> file and enabling php5 handling in the .htaccess
> files, but those measures are not having any
> effect now.  If it has to do with the load
> required for running my sites, I would be willing
> to upgrade to a faster server, but looking at the
> traffic logs, it does not seem like my account
> gets excessive traffic, so I don’t see how that
> could be the issue.  However, as I run my business
> off of these sites, I am anxious about their
> unresponsiveness.
>
> Your prompt response or resolution would be
> greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

them:

Due to some technical issues, accessing your website is currently not
possible. We sincerely apologize for this very unfortunate event,
although unforeseen but which might already be
causing you a lot of inconvenience. We also understand the frustration
you might be feeling right now about this whole issue. Unfortunately, we
still do not have an estimated time frame for a resolution however rest
assured that our administrators are working as quickly as possible. We
are also taking safe measures to ensure that an incident of this nature
will not be able to happen again. Thank you so much for your patience
and understanding as we work to resolve this issue.

so…basically, what you’re saying is there is some kind of unforeseen problem (which, you know, is odd, because usually technical issues you can see coming from a mile a way) and you have no idea when it will be fixed.  i am to rest assured, however, that it is being taken care of by what i’m sure is the most professional team of administrators this country has ever seen who are seeing to my specific issue and it’s prompt resolution of whenever.  thanks.  i’m so grateful for this insight.  your understanding of my frustration is as reassuring as your assurance that this will never happen again.  

this is coming out of your 99% uptime.