so i’m working on this site which is for a Dom who crafts floggers and whips and cuffs. and you know, part of the reason i bid on this project was because i had actually bought my first flogger from someone who was doing the same thing he was and had an online store, probably like 10 years ago. and i have a fairly intimate knowledge of the scene and i know i can more than do justice to the site.
so it’s been making me think about the scene, which i haven’t done in years. not like, i want to go back, or, i miss it, or anything, just remembering what it’s like from a more objective point of view. i’ve long since come to terms with the fact that a big part of what i was doing back then was searching for something that was missing, which, if you want to dig deeper, had been missing since i was 2. i’m just remembering what it’s like, the scene, the people, what it’s like to Dom, what it’s like to sub, the thoughts i had, the sites i surfed, the things i learned. it’s a fairly significant shift from who i was then to who i am now. and chatting with friends from college on facebook reminds me how much has passed and changed since then. settled down. moved to utah. became a husband and a homeowner and a father. now, trying to my hand at being an entrepreneur.
i dunno. it’s just interesting to look back at the 8 or so years since i was in the bdsm scene and consider the differences. in my outlook, in what’s important, even the music i listen to has changed (i still listen to the stuff i did then, but there’s a lot of new stuff i never would have been into that’s heavy in the rotation as well). part of that is just growing up…y’know, some more. so doing this site, it’s like me now, designing something that would be interesting to me then, and it’s just sort of a weird feedback loop that gets me thinking about stuff. i’m happy where i am, and i’m anxious to see where this path takes me. i wouldn’t give this, or the journey to get here — despite all the mistakes made along the way — up for anything.