greetings from….not seattle…

so we’re supposed to be in seattle right now for the holiday. we’re not. here’s how it went. it’s a tale of woe and frustration in which we are partially at fault, but still, in my mind, the faulting parties are the airline industry. that’s right, assholes, i’m talking to you…

so we’ve got a flight from slc to sea-tac. i’m on travelocity and i’m checking all our details, printing maps from our hotel to erin’s aunt’s place, and i check the flight status. it looks like it’s delayed, but there’s no details yet. it’s coming from grand junction, co, so i’m thinking, wow, this could be a long delay. wasn’t it just the other day i heard denver had 12 ft of snow?

finally details roll in, but not much. our flight is originally scheduled to leave at 5:10 and arrive at 6:20 but for some reason i got it in my head that we leave at 6 so we should be at the airport, or at least leave, by 4. the flight from co says it’s delayed an hour, but it’s still an hour from take-off, so that could mean anything. our flight info hasn’t been filled in yet. when it finally is updated, it’s about an hour from when our flight was originally scheduled to take off (4) and a half hour from the amended new departure time for the connecting flight from co. so we scramble to get our shit together because according to the new time, there’s 20 minutes between the landing of the delayed flight and the departure of our flight. my lack of faith here is astounding. there’s no possible way they can unload, reload, refuel and get in the air in 20 minutes, but still we work our butts off to get gone. i speed like a madman to the airport and after a ride in the long-term parking shuttle, we make it there at 5:10, the original departure time.

we head off to the e-ticket kiosks, because if you have an e-ticket, obviously you’re anti-social and, therefore, no one will talk to you. the e-ticket kiosk has our flight in red and says “would you like to change to another flight?” i say “uh. no.” and it tells me to see a person. the person is a moron who i can’t understand anyway. he tells me “you know you were supposed to be here at 5:10?” it’s now approximately 5:11. he tells us we have to talk to the change ticketing person. so we go over there and wait in line knowing that every minute we wait is a minute spent not getting on the plane. when we finally get our person he says “the system locks me out 30 minutes before departure” so we can’t check our bag. there are no open flights out of slc at all going anywhere tonight. which is why we’re still here. he’s nice enough to waive the reticketing fee because, as we explained, the reason why were late is because the flight was delayed.

here’s the kicker:

we get home and for giggles i go back and check on that flight. it didn’t arrive in slc until 6pm. that means that as he was saying “you got wrong information, so i’ve waived the fee” and we’re walking out of the airport back to the parking shuttle, the plane still hasn’t hit the ground yet.

what kind of moronic system is it that “locks you out” of the system so that you can’t check your bag before the plane has even touched down???






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