Dear Santa: Here’s my wishlist for 2010

Dear Santa —

WTF, dude?  I mean, I know we haven’t talked in like 25 years or something, but really?  Cancelling the best show on TV (Dollhouse, duh), and what do we get instead in 2010?  Freaking Caprica?  Are you on drugs?  And don’t even get me started on Stargate: Universe…or, rather Stargate: Who’s Driving this Bus? No one, the same person writing the fecking script.

Just so there’s no misunderstandings next year, here’s my wishlist for next winter holiday.  You have plenty of time, Santa.  Don’t.  Screw.  It.  Up.

  1. A standalone Google Wave client.  Google Wave is cool, right, and with Chrome I can make an application shortcut and have it behave like its own app.  So this should be pretty easy, since the platform has its’ own set of built-in gadgets.  All I want is the freaking menu bar to blink when I have a new message/wave.  Seriously, is that so hard?
  2. Joss Whedon show that doesn’t get cancelled after 2 seasons.
  3. For that matter, a Dollhouse movie would be nice.
  4. HBO and Showtime to join Starz in signing lasting contracts with Netflix to stream movies and TV shows, thereby adding, like, every movie ever into Netflix’s Instant Viewing database.
  5. Netflix, Hulu, or someone to make some sort of deal to offer pay-per-view, online screenings of movies that are in theaters right now.
  6. Universally accepted CSS/HTML standards that eliminate browser compatibility issues.  Dammit.
  7. Heroes to either be put to death, or else to not suck, whichever is less impossible.
  8. SteamnVidia, or OnLive to launch a cloud computing video game streaming service so I don’t need to upgrade my graphics card every time I want to play a new game.
    8-a.  Steam, nVidia, and/or OnLive to not be competitors in the cloug computing video game streaming industry.  It would be ridiculous to have to have 3 different monthly subscriptions or some such bullshit.
  9. Frickin’ Flying Cars.  Seriously, it’s 2010, and the best we can do is a single company running space tourism jaunts into low orbit for rich folk?! If you can’t give me flying cars, the least you could do is those hoverboards from Back to the Future II so I can fall on my face and break my nose.
  10. A fat wad of cash that falls from the sky and is completely tax-free so we can finish fixing up the house and spend all day making WordPress themes.

also, a lifetime supply of chocolate from any of these companies would also be appreciated:

Oh, and Santa, if you could arrange to not have the Christmas season (by which I mean when Christmas music and decorations start appearing in malls and stores) start the day after Halloween and put it back to the day after Thanksgiving the way it used to be, that would be great.

thanks.  your pal,

p.s. all the usual items on my wishlist (world peace, an end to global hunger and poverty, universal health care, an environmentally stable future, a MacBook Pro) are still implied.  thx.

“One Big Ass Mistake, America”


That’s what I saw gracing the back of an old Ford pickup truck as I took the cat to the vet on Thursday.

it immediately made me think of a Saturday Night Live sketch from last week that we just saw the night before.

my first thought in response to the truck was: “wow, yeah, because health care reform really is a horrible idea.  what could we be thinking?”

my second thought in response to the truck was: “gee, conservatives and republicans don’t know anything about spending lots of money on special projects.  oh wait, i’m being sarcastic.”

the point that was made in the SNL sketch (well, there were several, this is just one of them) was that we’re in the middle of a global financial crisis, and here we are, spending an assload more money on new stuff with the hope that it might help boost the economy.  and that’s all it is, a hope.  because the market is volatile, and it’s based entirely on people’s perceptions, because people’s perceptions are what is going to cause the economy to thrive — consumers believe that the economy can and will bounce back, and spend money as normal, thereby boosting small and large businesses and rebuilding the economy — or fall further into recessions — consumers feel that there is no hope for recovery and hole up, pull their money out of the bank and start stashing it under the bed like it’s the 1920s, thereby causing more banks to go under, more companies to close shops, and the global economic crisis to escalate until we live in a Mad Max-ian alternate reality where socoiopathic daredevil types hotrod their cars into killing machines and rampage the highways stealing gasoline, the only remaining currency.

on one level, i can empathize with people who are suspicious of spending more money on things that seem unrelated to the economic crisis.  and i read 2 different references in the past week to the great firewall of china; given our financial debt to china, it does seem a little snotty of us to get persnickety about their…well, just about anything they do, really.

but the old business saying that “you’ve got to spend money to make money” is true, and while health care reform seems unrelated, it’s, uh, not.  if people are healthier, or feel like they’re covered in the case of an emergency, they’re more likely to dip into that “rainy day/in case my liver explodes” fund they’ve been hanging onto for the last 10 years.  and the thing is that taking potshots on spending loads of money…isn’t that a bit unfounded.  it’s not like republicans don’t like spending money.

the difference is what the money is being spent on, although i challenge anyone to convince me that creating competition for major insurance companies is a bad thing, or that creating more checks and balances so people who, for example, have horrible pre-existing conditions (like, um, pregnancy) can’t be refused coverage.

so yeah, seeing someone scrawl “One Big Ass Mistake America” on the back of their truck irked me a bit.  it also made me wonder what kind of horrible crap this dude is listening to to believe that?  probably sean hannity, who — as i’ve mentioned before — is known for his accuracy and truth in reporting.  and it made me sad that there are people out there who don’t see the good that a lot of these Obama-driven initiatives will come to, and will probably never see it.  it makes me anxious to get this stuff started — to be able to afford insurance for myself and my family, to see electric cars on the street, to get the frak out of the middle east and start rebuilding relationships with countries that we alienated thanks to g-dub.

and it makes me worry for 2012.